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Come, my tan-faced children, follow well in order. Get your weapons ready. Have you your pistols? Have you your sharp-edged axes? For we cannot tarry here. We must march, my darlings. We must bear the brunt of danger. We, the youthful sinewy races—all the rest on us depend.
From what I’m told by researchers, the Krauts never stood a chance against our American machine of democracy during World War II. Why? One simple reason - Gary Busey. I imagine most engagements went something like this:
Stranger Waving His Arms In The Air: “Ja jsem Cech! Jsem nikoho nezabil!”
Gary Busey: “What? I’m sorry, I can’t understand what you’re saying.”
<Gary Busey fires off several shells with a 105 mm Howitzer M3>
Pvt. Jackson: “What’d he say?”
Gary Busey: “Look, I washed for supper.” <Manic Laughter>
T/Sgt. Turner: “I don’t know what’s more criminal - the fact that this man was actually a Czech POW, or the Captain missing him completely and firing a light howitzer into our own battalion. Killed thirty-six men, sir.”
Gary Busey: “My dark side, my shadow, my lower companion is now in the back room blowing up balloons for kids’ parties.”
Pvt. Kelly: “Respectfully, sir. What in Christ’s name are you talking about?”
Gary Busey: “I’ve been told by doctors and surgeons that I have the energy of ten men who have normal jobs.”
Pvt. Jackson: “Sarge, I’d feel a helluva lot better if you relieved the Captain of his weapon. Pearly whites, too.”

From what I’m told by researchers, the Krauts never stood a chance against our American machine of democracy during World War II. Why? One simple reason - Gary Busey. I imagine most engagements went something like this:

Stranger Waving His Arms In The Air: “Ja jsem Cech! Jsem nikoho nezabil!”

Gary Busey: “What? I’m sorry, I can’t understand what you’re saying.”

<Gary Busey fires off several shells with a 105 mm Howitzer M3>

Pvt. Jackson: “What’d he say?”

Gary Busey: “Look, I washed for supper.” <Manic Laughter>

T/Sgt. Turner: “I don’t know what’s more criminal - the fact that this man was actually a Czech POW, or the Captain missing him completely and firing a light howitzer into our own battalion. Killed thirty-six men, sir.”

Gary Busey: “My dark side, my shadow, my lower companion is now in the back room blowing up balloons for kids’ parties.”

Pvt. Kelly: “Respectfully, sir. What in Christ’s name are you talking about?”

Gary Busey: “I’ve been told by doctors and surgeons that I have the energy of ten men who have normal jobs.”

Pvt. Jackson: “Sarge, I’d feel a helluva lot better if you relieved the Captain of his weapon. Pearly whites, too.”

Posted: Wed July 27th, 2011 at 8:25pm
Tagged: 101st Airborne Division 4chan 82nd Airborne Division America Artillery Battle of Carentan Captain Carentan Democracy Edited France Funny Gary Busey History Insane M3 Howitzer Madness Military Nazi Private Saving Private Ryan Soldier Tom Hanks United States Utah Beach World War II Axis Powers Allied Powers
Notes: 11
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