The Offensive Captain's Log

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Come, my tan-faced children, follow well in order. Get your weapons ready. Have you your pistols? Have you your sharp-edged axes? For we cannot tarry here. We must march, my darlings. We must bear the brunt of danger. We, the youthful sinewy races—all the rest on us depend.
Me in a nutshell. Poetic soul, borderline obsessive-compulsive behavior, and tendency to engage in soliloquy, included. My innately strong sense of compassion is undermined by an equally cynical outlook on life and socially awkward nature. It’s not that I’m mean. I’d just rather watch paint dry than lower myself to interaction with an imbecile. Which most people are. Remember this kids: the two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. Although naturally occurring, both are a threat to man’s ongoing survival. And my attention span.

Me in a nutshell. Poetic soul, borderline obsessive-compulsive behavior, and tendency to engage in soliloquy, included. My innately strong sense of compassion is undermined by an equally cynical outlook on life and socially awkward nature. It’s not that I’m mean. I’d just rather watch paint dry than lower myself to interaction with an imbecile. Which most people are. Remember this kids: the two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. Although naturally occurring, both are a threat to man’s ongoing survival. And my attention span.

Posted: Sat July 9th, 2011 at 10:40pm
HighRes: view
Tagged: Cartoons Craig Bartlett Helga Pataki Hey Arnold! Klasky Csupo Nickelodeon Stupidity Nicktoons
Notes: 11
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