The Offensive Captain's Log

Home Ask Submit About Archive Theme
Come, my tan-faced children, follow well in order. Get your weapons ready. Have you your pistols? Have you your sharp-edged axes? For we cannot tarry here. We must march, my darlings. We must bear the brunt of danger. We, the youthful sinewy races—all the rest on us depend.
When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down—with the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
-Cave Johnson, Founder & CEO of Aperture Science Inc.

When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down—with the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

-Cave Johnson, Founder & CEO of Aperture Science Inc.

Posted: Wed April 20th, 2011 at 9:13am
HighRes: view
Tagged: Aperture Science Black Mesa Cake Cave Johnson GLaDOS Gordon Freeman Half-Life Lemonade Lemons Portal Valve Weighted Companion Cube J.K. Simmons
Notes: 119
  1. the-limit-does-not-exist reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  2. literalmenteteorico reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain and added:
    When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons!...
  3. xander3000 reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  4. mastertardis reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  5. notewok reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  6. demoniacfox reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  7. rosesbythesea11 reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  8. milomano reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  9. faux-pyrefly reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  10. julynovice reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain and added:
    YEAH! TAKE THE LEMONS! haha. My favorite quote ever.
  11. jz113 reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  12. kilo-five-calling-thedoctor reblogged this from ukeagent21
  13. magitekgaymer reblogged this from alehizzle
  14. buythetickettakethecannoli reblogged this from alehizzle
  15. alehizzle reblogged this from ukeagent21
  16. ukeagent21 reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  17. poolsthataredead reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  18. lcecstatic reblogged this from jauffre
  19. misleadingmiscellaneous reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  20. feelfit reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  21. ninjanomnom reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  22. cipelli reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  23. lhdp reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  24. chancochongkitos reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  25. suspicious-blonde reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain and added:
    GLaDOS: Yeah! Dont Make Lemonade!
  26. iamjunko reblogged this from for-the-proud-people-of-robonia
  27. for-the-proud-people-of-robonia reblogged this from possiblyahugewasteoftime
  28. myminiatureuniverse reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain and added:
    EL OH EL
  29. itscolossalmass reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  30. shuppatsu reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain
  31. floorlightandbeer reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain and added:
    When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons!...
  32. isracional reblogged this from theoffensivecaptain